It’s official. Let it be known. I’m talking to you, “woman who pays with a check at the grocery store”. And you too, “man who will only drive a mid- to late-model Buick, Oldsmobile, or Crown Victoria”. And don’t think I forgot you either, “man who owns the entire run of Perry Mason on VHS”.

Of course if you’re actually on IE6, you probably can’t read this.

Overall, the Super Bowl was a big fat “meh”. The game wasn’t the high-scoring affair it was promised to be, and none of the ads presented any sort of creative breakthrough. Call me a cynic, but it was really more of the same… slapstick humor, midde-aged white guy goofiness, random animal hijinks, and more GoDaddy ads that make me ashamed to be in the ad biz. The only one to hit the mark creatively and effectively was Google’s entry. They kept the focus on the product, and in that way were able to make a poignant comment on how important the internet (and specifically, Google Search) can be in our lives. But I’m sure most folks probably thought it was too boring.

If you’re really keeping count, you could probably say that the real Super Bowl winner was the actor in the ads below. How many commercial actors can lay claim to starring spots in not one, but two Super Bowl spots… in the same Super Bowl? As average as the ads are, that’s still pretty impressive. So kudos to you, Paul Giamatti look-alike.

#12: The Sounds - Crossing the Rubicon

Not as universally powerful on first listen as their other efforts, but slightly deeper songcraft makes it grow with each successive listen. Well, deep for Swedish New Wave anyways.

#11: Florence and The Machine - Lungs

Florence Welch’s soul-inspired indie rock is dominating the UK. After a few hit singles, there were huge expectations for the album. It meets them and then some.

#10: The Decemberists - Hazards of Love

A great album to take with you on a road trip due to its seamless transitions and rock narrative. More incredibly, it’s not the only rock opera album on my list.

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Las Vegas brings back their famous catchphrase (sort of) with their new “What Happens in Blank” campaign. Everything is fun and games, until the end when they diss our base of operations, Lincoln (assumingly, Lincoln Nebraska). And oddly, the place where the two chicks are hanging out looks eerily similar to our very own Isles Pub & Pizza. But I digress.

Poo poo to you Vegas; you’re nothing but a giant concrete vacuum sucking the cash out of rich Asian businessmen, the retirement money from bored geriatrics, and the sobriety from wild bachelors/bachelorettes.

And I salute you for that. From Tyler V.

In an effort to communicate to the consumer how “green” (re: fuel efficient) GM really is, the talking suits are thinking about an ingenius solution: Change the logo to green. Sure, they have more effecient vehicles now, but pardon John Q. Public for struggling with the new approach after being spoon-fed gas-guzzling family tanks and big block low-profile roadhuggers for over 100 years.

But hey, I can’t fault them for working the angles. In fact, I believe a color change could be quite effective in creating some good ‘ole fashioned earned media. I mean, here I am blogging about it.

While I’m on this Microsoft kick, I’d like to call attention to the Bing Search Overload ads that’ve been gracing primetime for about a month. Like CP+B’s I’m a PC and Laptop Hunters campaigns, this $100 million marketing campaign from  JWT brilliantly finds the essence of the consumer appeal. For the I’m a PC campaign, it was “PC people are anyone and everyone.” For the Laptop Hunters, it was “Mac’s are great but not for the budget-conscious.” And for this campaign, JWT positions Microsoft’s Bing as a search tool that understands and identifies with consumer frustration with keyword-centric search engines. Good stuff.

I tried Bing as I’ve been looking for kitchen remodeling tips, and it has continually surprised me at how relevant the results are compared with Google. It doesn’t win every battle mind you, but it’s good enough that I’ll be using it whenever Google fails me. And that is exactly the main problem for Microsoft… Bing might be a better tool, but it could prove impossible to cure our addiction to googling.

As an avid basketball fan and in honor of the 2009 NBA Draft, I present to you the ugliest players to ever set foot on a basketball court. Stupid? Yes. Shallow? You’re damn right it is. But I’m not trying to be mean, I’m just persecuting people for the way they look. Since when was that not OK?

Besides, I can’t feel sorry for millionaires. All that money can buy a LOT of plastic surgery.

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20. Wang Zhi Zhi

Being that I’m half-Asian myself, I’ll prove that I’m not racist by leading off with Wang Zhi Zhi, a highly useless former member of my favorite team, the Dallas Mavericks. Not many people can lay claim to a head shaped like Bullet Bill.

Even Yao Ming can’t stand the sight of him.

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Above, we have a fairly creative student take on a pet product that aids in digestion. Creative enough to earn Bronze in a student competition in 2005, but also creative enough…

…to be potentially plagiarized by this agency piece for a similar product, which took home a 2007 Cannes Gold Lion for JWT Sydney. Who was the Creative Director on this piece? Robin Ideas? Admit it, that was a good one.

But I digress… is this a coincidence? Can two people on opposite ends of the earth individually come up with a concept featuring a bright light shining out of a dog’s ass? Could it be the same person? How the hell does a concept earn a bronze at a piddling student competition, then take a silver at a high-end professional competition? Does anyone really care?