So hot wings cravings can manifest themselves as monkey puppets? That’s nothing. If I don’t have an energy drink in the morning,  an ill-tempered muay thai fighter talks bad about my mother and repeatedly punches me in the face with lava-covered spiked knuckles. Now you know why I spend $40 a month on energy drinks.

Everyone knows bears love McDonald’s. And everyone knows people picnic in the wild with their McDonald’s. And everyone knows any decent grizzly bear would be voiced by John Goodman.

KFC now has grilled chicken. McDonald’s is big into coffee. Pizza Hut might as well be called Pasta Hut. Anti-burger chain Arby’s now offers Roast Burgers. And now Boston Market is offering fried chicken? What is the world coming to? It’s a scary world, so take the edge off with this fun spot by Fallon, MN.

Associating the wholesome BK King with frat douchebags, pimps, hookers, drug dealers, and masturbation? Works for me.

Another reason to hate old people.

Watch.

There’s something oddly pleasing about watching a bunch of dumbshits jump into a bottomless hole. From AdGabber. A Saatchi and Saatchi product.

More great ads for Burger King, this time a bit more creepy than usual. Best line: “Did you hear about the panda?” I can imagine the brainstorm.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to rub the Whopper on my chest so I can be a real man.

See Office Cowboys and Sorority Stache.